Compiling versus using ports

UPDATE: I just compiled my servers from some old scripts, with a few modifications, and it all went fine..... Case closed.

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I'm old, not very smart, so be gentle...ok?

I have been running a web and mail server for a long time using Slackware Linux. Designing and hosting sites has become a big part of my small income and my mail server is way out of date; bringing it up to date is beyond me without the help of a tutorial. I found one for FreeBSD and I got FreeBSD up and running (even installed Gnome - I like to be able to read things while I'm fiddling).

So - finally - my question: On Slackware I include a lot of arguments so that PHP, for instance, will find the freetype library, include certain functionality, etc. When you install things from ports....well, how do you specify....anything? I'm not knocking FreeBSD (seems to run faster than anything I've seen in my life). I really just don't get it... I don't see how you would integrate the various components. I know you can compile - but everyone seems to say that you should use ports.

Thanks for any input.