|
|||||||||
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|||||||||
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
|
| |||||||||
 |
|
|
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Rating: 
|
Display Modes |
Dev Shed Forums Sponsor:
|
|
|
|
#2851
February 5th, 2008, 09:45 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
What do you call a cow with no legs?
. . . . . . . . . . . Ground Beef!!! 
|
|
#2852
February 5th, 2008, 11:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, the bugger won't come when you call him.
__________________
MySQL - reformat varchar dates to proper date type || MySQL - room vacancies || output results with column names with mysql only Latest row per group || Deleting duplicates || Gaps in auto increment column My site: sql help articles
|
|
#2853
February 5th, 2008, 01:35 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?
Sparky.
__________________
"Nobody wins in a butter eating contest." My band, The American Autumn and on MySpace Dinosaurs Eat Everybody Team Hamster Hat .digits - Every number is the answer to something...
|
|
#2854
February 5th, 2008, 08:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
__________________
Give Opera some love. Use it and you'll see why. Oh, those monkeys. My body is so sexy. What's wrong with the world today?
|
|
#2855
February 5th, 2008, 08:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
coincidences don't happen much in the 'real' world ... much
__________________
--Ax without exception, there is no rule ... The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones  09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems. -- Jamie Zawinski Detavil - the devil is in the detail, allegedly, and I use the term advisedly, allegedly ... oh, no, wait I did ...
|
|
#2856
February 5th, 2008, 09:07 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Ok, here's one:
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye. The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!
|
|
#2857
February 5th, 2008, 10:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar, and the bartender says "what is this, a joke?"
__________________
Baby soft, because its made from real babies.
|
|
#2858
February 5th, 2008, 10:56 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I help you, sir?”
“Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!” the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally. About this time the cop looks down to see that the man’s member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, “Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?” The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans, “OHHH GOD . . . they got my girlfriend too!!!”
__________________
($tired) ? "working in PHP" : "PHP working in me"; PHP Manual | Free Email Based Contact Form | Free Guest Book | Free FAQs System | Backlink Checker FREE Scripts Directory and Resource Repository PHP,Apache,MySQL,Oracle,Linux,Telecommunications,Games and Cars Articles Download Free Videos From Youtube,Google Video,MySpace,iFilm etc
|
|
#2859
February 12th, 2008, 02:55 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
A man owned a small farm in Minnesota
The Minnesota State Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. " Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $500 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $350 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $50 per week, pays his own room and board, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. And he also sleeps with my wife occasionally." "That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent. "That would be me," replied the farmer.
|
|
#2861
February 16th, 2008, 01:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
. . . What is Firefox? . . . . . . What is Linux? . . . . . . . . . . . What is Love?
|
Del.icio.us
Digg
Google
Spurl
Blink
Furl
Simpy
Y! MyWeb
