Page 227 - Got a joke? Post it!

I'm glad I loved the challenge, when there was no college for this ****e back then.

The school phoned me today and said: "Your son has been telling lies!"

I said: "Well tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"

How did he manage to put the boxes on top of each other and put the computer on top of them if they could not get-in in the first place? Just asking ... it was still nice to read

If you read the article, you can see they were already in the building.

Problem with these types of things is that theyre are obviously only including the funny responses in the video.

Go to a country in the eastern hemisphere and ask em where texas is (a state that is bigger than a lot of countries) and I'm sure a lot of them will point to south america and things to that effect.

In local newspaper there was an article to that direction. It had a small quiz (without correct answers, thou). I didn't know squat, even thou these should be kind of ... basic knowledge. Some questions were like:

- Who is the prime minister of India?
- What are the most important export-products of Russia (in addition to oil and gas)?

I can tell who is the mayor of Helsinki (the city I live in). But I cannot tell who is the mayor of Tampere (the city I work in, 2nd largest city in Finland). Not to mention mayor of Espoo/Vantaa, both quite big and sharing close borders with Helsinki. Even thou mayor doesn't really have that big a role in here, but still..

And when interviewed on tv, people tend to get nervous, and might make really silly mistakes. But what kind of a show would it be like, if they would ask "Are americans stupid?". Then interview a bunch of people, who would make well structured and educated answers. And end the show: "Oh well, no, not really."

And another point. If I'd be in similar show, and would be somewhat ready and on the right mood, I might play along with the awesome geography.

Americans are particularly good at this, though. With 18% of Americans believing the Sun revolves around the Earth and 23% having only basic literacy levels or lower (PDF), it's far too easy to find someone in America that doesn't know where the nearest library is, let alone where France is. I'm sure you've all seen this great example of where many Americans get their information. America has somehow managed to become the only world superpower, and the least educated country in the first world. It's just sad.

I'd like to see a video of some Brits or Aussies getting these kinds of questions wrong, if only to make me feel better about my decision not to move to Europe.

-Dan

The "American gained it's independence from..." question is a little tricky. Perhaps the poll writers should take a quiz.

The question should not use the term "America" too loosely. The original members of the U.S.A. gained their independence from England, yes. Texas, now a member of the U.S.A. gained its independence from Mexico. It became a member of the U.S.A. after gaining independence and being a republic for a time.

Much of the existing U.S.A was acquired by purchase or other wars of liberation (read: thievery masked as "manifest destiny").

Even more strictly, other North American, Central American, and South American countries have widely diverse histories.

I agree, the question is vague and the fact that America was built piecemeal throughout 100+ years seems to contribute to Americans' inability to figure out basic history. Then you put state pride into the mix, coupled with the average idiocy level of primary school teachers, and you get some pretty embarrassing "facts" being spewed. I recently had the unfortunate displeasure of stumbling upon a "Texas is the best state ever" facebook group, which "educated" me of the following:
Texas is the only state that was once a country! (not true, both Hawaii and California were recognized republics, though California only lasted 3 weeks).
Texas is the only state allowed to fly its flag at the same height as the US flag, by federal law! (not true, every other state does it out of respect to the flag code)
Texas has the only state capitol building higher than the US capitol building! (Except, of course, for the three other states, one of which is taller than Texas)

The list went on and on. I understand that none of this information is necessary for actually living their lives, but it's embarrassing how little some people know of their surroundings. 18% think the sun goes around the earth! It's been months since I found that out, and it's still shocking.

If any of you want to feel dumb, try this physics quiz. It's significantly more difficult than "does the earth go around the sun?"

-Dan

Opps, way OT, didn't notice that this was the joke thread. Nevermind....

Most of California was pulled from Mexico, was that by force? or did the locals leave Mexico (I think none of it has much to do with the Eastern US folks.

We paid Mexico for parts of the south west, and stole other parts after a trumped up war.

France dumped the Louisanna Purchase on us to underwrite a war that they cared about in Europe. I don't think anyone cared about the mountain states, Utah, Idaho, eastern Washington, eastern Oregon, etc. since there was no water there.

Even the original 13 states did not so much as "beat England" to win the war, rather they kept their pityful rebellion alive long enough for the English to decide it was more important to have yet another war with France, Germany or the other usual suspects. I don't think George Washington's army had a single victory in battle over the nearly decade long war. (Trenton was treachery, not a military victory)

We paid Mexico for very little of the southwest. The Gadsen Purchase, which was an exception, served mostly to straighten out some crooked lines.

Texas got some in their war of independance (less than is currently Texas, Nueces vs. Rio Grande as the disputed border). The rest, parts of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, parts of Nevada and Utah, and all the way up into Oregon, was seized in the Mexican War. That cost Mexico one-third of their territory. U.S. Grant, who participated in the war as a young officer, later declared it to be an action of aggression and theft.

I am an "American" (U.S. citizen) and a Texan and I'm patriotic and I served my time in the military (voluntarily). I still have enough sense to see that our foreign policy, from beginning to end, is not rooted in altruism. It may have begun as rebellion against tyranny but it is now rooted in dominance and acquisition.

Sizablegrin Why Do U Hate Freedom!?!?!

Youth, most wasted ... on the young, but that's another story

Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ....
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O .
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O .
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is ..
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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