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  #61  
Old July 8th, 2005, 05:53 AM
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bainser bainser is offline
Give us a kiss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by computer
Ooops! Again!


What can I say apart from dont tell my wife!!!
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  #62  
Old July 8th, 2005, 07:54 AM
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mike65535 mike65535 is offline
um, Hello?
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Can we get back to the jokes?

Requisite groaner:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(Might be best to read this aloud)

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A; Still, no idea.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress - sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement had thought that this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM that you have a headache!”
Comments on this post
kuroSAVVAS agrees: awsome gorila joke
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  #63  
Old July 8th, 2005, 08:03 AM
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bainser bainser is offline
Give us a kiss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mike65535
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A; Still, no idea.


Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?
A: Still no f*cking idea.
Comments on this post
computer agrees: ++ for mike65535

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  #64  
Old July 8th, 2005, 08:05 AM
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mike65535 mike65535 is offline
um, Hello?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bainser
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?
A: Still no f*cking idea.
Ha!!!

rep++ please!

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  #65  
Old July 8th, 2005, 09:25 AM
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cybersaga cybersaga is offline
I have a red lunch bag
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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One says to the other, "Man it's hot in here." Then the other one says, "AAHHH! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I'm here till Thursday.
Comments on this post
WorldBuilder agrees: Funny!
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  #66  
Old July 8th, 2005, 09:33 AM
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WisconsinGuy WisconsinGuy is offline
I thank you very little
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Why do redneck's have sex doggy style?




So they can both watch Nascar!
Comments on this post
WorldBuilder agrees: Funny ****!
funkyfoof agrees: kewl ...
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PEACE!

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  #67  
Old July 8th, 2005, 09:59 AM
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WorldBuilder WorldBuilder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cybersaga
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One says to the other, "Man it's hot in here." Then the other one says, "AAHHH! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I'm here till Thursday.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

That was surprisingly hilarious!

Chris
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  #68  
Old July 8th, 2005, 10:01 AM
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WorldBuilder WorldBuilder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WisconsinGuy
Why do redneck's have sex doggy style?

So they can both watch Nascar!

So was this one! LOL

Chris

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  #69  
Old July 8th, 2005, 10:03 AM
jerwinch jerwinch is offline
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender asks the pirate: "What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate responds: "Arrgh! It's driving me nuts!"

[edit]Sorry i must have missed it. Many apologies![/edit]
Comments on this post
codergeek42 disagrees: Already said.
Kokoro disagrees: That was mine!
gimp agrees: No need to disagree... just tell him!

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  #70  
Old July 8th, 2005, 11:47 AM
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aitken325i aitken325i is offline
At a NO MA'AM meeting . . . .
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A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,
"What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He then notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..........
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2.) It is wrong to be French
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4.) Lawyers, see rule 3
5.) It is O.K. to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes
6.) Everyone should car pool but me
7.) Bring back the word 'stewardesses'
8.) Synchronized swimming is not a sport
9.) Mud wrestling is a sport

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  #71  
Old July 8th, 2005, 12:24 PM
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JohnnyC JohnnyC is offline
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Quick, very bad, groaner of a joke

What do you get when you cross John Lennon and Boy George?



Instant Karma Chameleon. (Just add water!)
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  #72  
Old July 8th, 2005, 01:09 PM
geniusgoalie geniusgoalie is offline
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I'm running out of family friendly jokes so, um...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side BAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh I crack myself up...

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  #73  
Old July 8th, 2005, 01:12 PM
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cybersaga cybersaga is offline
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