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#61
July 8th, 2005, 05:53 AM
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Quote:
What can I say apart from dont tell my wife!!! 
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#62
July 8th, 2005, 07:54 AM
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Can we get back to the jokes?
  Requisite groaner: +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ (Might be best to read this aloud) Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No idea. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A; Still, no idea. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress - sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement had thought that this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips. Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM that you have a headache!”
__________________
"America's abundance was created not by public sacrifices to "the common good," but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. They did not starve the people to pay for America's industrialization. They gave the people better jobs, higher wages and cheaper goods with every new machine they invented, with every scientific discovery or technological advance -- and thus the whole country was moving forward and profiting, not suffering, every step of the way." --Ayn Rand
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#63
July 8th, 2005, 08:03 AM
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Quote:
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals? A: Still no f*cking idea.
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#64
July 8th, 2005, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
 rep++ please!
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#65
July 8th, 2005, 09:25 AM
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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One says to the other, "Man it's hot in here." Then the other one says, "AAHHH! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!"
I'm here till Thursday.
__________________
Web Design Tips - Posting and You If I've been helpful, and/or you're really nice, consider buying something from my Amazon.com wishlist.
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#66
July 8th, 2005, 09:33 AM
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Why do redneck's have sex doggy style?
So they can both watch Nascar!
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PEACE!
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#67
July 8th, 2005, 09:59 AM
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA That was surprisingly hilarious! Chris
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Pop, pop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!
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#68
July 8th, 2005, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
So was this one! LOL Chris
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#69
July 8th, 2005, 10:03 AM
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender asks the pirate: "What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate responds: "Arrgh! It's driving me nuts!"
[edit]Sorry i must have missed it. Many apologies![/edit]
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#70
July 8th, 2005, 11:47 AM
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A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,
"What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package." The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He then notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..........
__________________
The No Ma'am commandments: 1.) It is O.K. to call hooters 'knockers' and sometimes snack trays 2.) It is wrong to be French 3.) It is O.K. to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder 4.) Lawyers, see rule 3 5.) It is O.K. to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes 6.) Everyone should car pool but me 7.) Bring back the word 'stewardesses' 8.) Synchronized swimming is not a sport 9.) Mud wrestling is a sport
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#71
July 8th, 2005, 12:24 PM
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Quick, very bad, groaner of a joke
What do you get when you cross John Lennon and Boy George?
Instant Karma Chameleon. (Just add water!)
__________________
"Tryin to minimize the issue, but I'm keeping it large, I love the place that I live, but I hate the people in charge!" -- Immortal Technique
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#72
July 8th, 2005, 01:09 PM
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I'm running out of family friendly jokes so, um...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side BAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh I crack myself up...
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