January 6th, 2003, 08:22 PM
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Offensive Member
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: in the perfect world
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An Australian politician (from Queensland) went to the disabled toilet in parlement last month (he was not disabled).
He could not open the door afterwards so he called his office on his mobile and then pushed the security button.
When the four security guards turned up they found the problem was he did not realise it was a sliding door.
Point being a man who runs part of this country can't remember a vital piece of information 10 minutes after he learnt it. (he must have closed the door after he entered the toilet)
On snakes the guy who takes the cake is from Aussie too.
Driving to the next pub (about 200Km in the outback) with his mate. They see a snake on the road and stop.
His first mistake is deciding not to put his beer down before he picks up the King Brown (one of the most deadly snakes in the world, agressive with extremely toxic nerve venom).
So its angry and manages bites him on the hand. His mate realises the danger and they get the snake and rush to the nearest phone to get the flying doctor (the pub). The second mistake is that they did not kill the snake.
On the way the guy tries to take revenge on the snake (currently in a plastic bag) and gets bitten 6 more times on the hand and arm.
His mate keeps him awake / alive by hitting him and pouring beer on him. (ahhh the rejuvinating power of the amber fluid) until they reach the pub and he can be flown out.
Upshot, the guy looses an arm and use of both legs after nearly a year in hospital.
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The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your f***ing mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.
Frank Zappa
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