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    Jenny Craig is not a person but a weight control institution that like Richard Simmons presumably borrows the diabetic strict diet guidelines which probably most people would do well to follow periodically, overweight or not. It's basically the food pyramid we've heard so much about.

    Where as taco bell is, well, you know hydrogenated oils and cholesterol and saturated fat. All the healthy stuff ;-)
    medialint.com

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    Originally Posted by medialint
    Jenny Craig is not a person but a weight control institution that like Richard Simmons presumably borrows the diabetic strict diet guidelines which probably most people would do well to follow periodically, overweight or not. It's basically the food pyramid we've heard so much about.

    Where as taco bell is, well, you know hydrogenated oils and cholesterol and saturated fat. All the healthy stuff ;-)
    OK, so help me out, I don't get it. What's the punch line?
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    Devshed Supreme Being (6500+ posts)

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    It was information, arty. There's not much funny in [most] informative posts...
    Chat Server Project & Tutorial | WiFi-remote-control sailboat (building) | Joke Thread
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    eh ... I was responding to Ax. I don't have any original jokes I imagine after 103 pages of 'em.

    Maybe I'll try this excerpt from The Cheerful Insanity of Giles, Giles and Fripp it's the best I can do ...

    "Very, very nice," said a man in the crowd
    As they smelled his peanut teeth.
    "Would you like some?" he said
    I said, "Yes, please,"
    We all had one tooth each.
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    Originally Posted by Arty Ziff
    OK, so help me out, I don't get it. What's the punch line?
    She only works for tips!

    Hahhaaaa OH MY! Ha ha haaahahaaaaa. Ha ha...
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    She's a rabbi?*

    *I heard that one from a 'youth leader' at church when I was a kid. Love thy neighbor. It was in good spirit tho ..
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    Originally Posted by medialint
    She's a rabbi?*

    *I heard that one from a 'youth leader' at church when I was a kid. Love thy neighbor. It was in good spirit tho ..
    I heard Al Frenken tell it on SNL *YEARS* ago (SNL hasn't been worth watching for at LEAST 10 years, maybe more.)
  8. Dev Shed Spammer, Quite Plain.
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    While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent

    people.

    Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

    "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

    Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is

    not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

    Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

    "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

    Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

    Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons **** Lugar to the White House and

    says, "Senator Lugar, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

    "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

    Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Lugar hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

    Bush agrees, and Lugar leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up

    with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Lugar calls Rice at the State Department and explains his problem.

    "Now lookee here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Rice answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

    Much relieved, Lugar rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Condoleezza Rice!"

    And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"

    Comments on this post

    • dotancohen agrees : _that's_ funny
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    A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,
    "Um, is this seat taken?"
    She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO, I WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
    Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he sinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
    To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN $200?!"

    Comments on this post

    • dbconnect_zim agrees : Not bad. Got a feeling you know someone in the industry tho. :)
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    Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.
    Dr Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof, the light goes off."
    "Wow!" commented Dr Smith. "That's incredible!"
    A little later in the day, Dr Smith called George's wife.
    "Ethel," he said. "George is doing fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and, poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is through, poof, the light goes off?"
    Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, my god! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
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    Emily Jenkins, an anthropologist educated at various prestigious universities across Europe comes to the realisation that she has learnt everything there is to learn about the European cultures.
    So, she decides to head off to the New World in search of the illusive “Red Indian”.
    As soon as she gets to shore she’s off like a shot into the wilderness. Lo and behold, she spots a lone brave walking along the same path. He has a feather stuck to his head.

    “How fascinating,“ she thinks to herself, “ … Excuse me, sir, please, just a minute of your time, if you’d be so kind. Why do you have that feather on your head?”

    The Brave, hand on chest, “How. Me Indian, me f**kee one woman.”

    “Hmmm … how interesting, thank you sir.” Emily makes a note of this in her book, and she’s off again into the wilderness.

    Some time passes, and she spots another. This one has two feathers. She tootles over and asks the same question, with the expected reply of “How. Me Indian, me champion, me f**ee two women.” Again, into the book go the notes.

    Weeks and months go by before Miss Jenkins comes across a really magnificent specimen, his muscular body glistening under the sun, two streams of excellent feathers flowing all the way to the ground.

    “Oh my!” she exclaims, and dashes over to the fellow. “Excuse me, sir. Please! Just a minute of your time. You have such a fine set of feathers … “.
    The exquisite Native, chest pumped out, head held high, “How. Me Indian, me champion, me big Chief, me f**ee all the women.”


    “Oh Dear … “


    “No … … deer run too fast, poop hole too high.”
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    Originally Posted by dbconnect_zim
    Got a feeling you know someone in the industry tho.
    Not me, Chad's the one that married a psychologist.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
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    ah ... things slowly falling into place, VERY slowly.
  14. I fail at spelling
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    Yes, I married a psychologist.
    Chad
    I am working now with Symfony2, Twig, Doctrine, Composer, Assetic, and HTML5. Enjoying doing what I do everyday!
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    It's a good thing too. He gets free couch time.

    Comments on this post

    • LinuxPenguin agrees : Brilliant
    • dotancohen agrees
    Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

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