Dating Software? Buy or Build?

Hi my name is terry and I've been reviewing dating s/w packages for 2 weeks now, and I'm more confused than ever. However, I believe I've narrowed my choice down to one of the following three products:

-eMeeting
-DataSoftware.biz
-Datebox 3.0

And since I'm not that familiar with php, and have limited experience with html, I've decided to contract the customization of the s/w templates out to a developer or a design firm. However, each of the 2 dev/firms I've interviewed have pitched building the solution from scratch.

Again, I'm not a developer, but it seems to me that it would cost WAY more to build this type of product, with all it's inherent features, from scratch rather than to just buy it and customize it. Is it that difficult to customize these type of PHP packages or have I just ran into a group of devs that want to take me for an expensive ride?

My second question for the forum is, in your opinion, which of 3 products above is best in terms of (1) ease of customization, (2) ease of administration for us non-dev types, and (3) having good stable code and module integration ability? Or would I just be better off letting someone build it from scratch?

My final question is, approximately how much SHOULD it cost me to have the s/w customized (no flash needed), and how much to build it?

Any help, hints, suggestions, or advice is greatly welcomed and appreciated.
--Terry

Yep.
Not familiar with any of those packages but sometimes it can be difficult trying to figure out how the packages work. Then you wind up spending as much as if they coded from scratch. I doubt this is the problem but it's also possible these guys don't want to go through the hassle of learning someone elses code.