Forum / site hosting needed

Here it goes:

General: I'm making a whole package site for my Warcraft 2 clan on Battle.net... Yeah, there still are people who play it The site itself is ready and up at URL, a good free host for 20 megs of space and no ads (if someone's looking for one). Some free news service is already implemented, and a chatroom applet as well. What I need as well is a forum.

Clean account or ready boards: A suitable account or a preinstalled board.

Audience, languages: No restriction. Must have Polish (means ISO 8859-2 by default for all htmls, phps etc) and English. Other European languages must be allowed. Don't have to be supported, but must be allowed.

Audience, specific content: I'm a decent man, but I'm not a Sunday school teacher. Blatant porn won't go. Excessive swearing, insults etc won't go. Threats, slander, same. But I'm not going to censor "f" words, drunken adventures or people complaining about morons who pull their modems when they lose, people who hack multiplayer games and the like The language and content won't be suitable for a Sunday school site, but nothing really bad either.

Bandwidth, storage: No idea how much. Really. If the site exceeds 50 MB I'll be surprised. Or if the boards get more than 20 actively posting members. But it may happen. Occasional hotlinking may happen.

Speed: Fast. I would appreciate specifics.

No inactivity limits: Nothing like 14 days for admin login or 30 for posting. It must be there.

Text ads: They're OK in the right place. Quality stuff only.

Banners: In the links section of the site. Only. Quality stuff only.

Logos: Small (like an icon) and quality stuff. Can go where my designer notes go.

Ad threads: I'm OK with the host having a small forum section for his ads or ads of his contractors. However, not exported as news. And I'm not going to post them if there's going to be a lot of them. A person specified by the host can run it.

Host offers or ads page: Sure. It's better than banners for both parties, I guess.

Shopping: It can be arranged to put shopping links for things related to computer games, especially strategic and roleplaying or anything Warcraft and share the income. But I need to have a say in the matter.

Other offers: Something non-intrusive to my site. Shared profit. Sure.

My ads, banners etc: I must be free to swap banners with people, to advertise friends' pages and the like. People must be free to recommend things on the boards.

All board features: No features disabled. I'm serious about this one. I need to be able to customise the board to my liking, to have all skins features etc. Preferably to be able to install extensions as well. No "basic" versions. Preferably no unregistered trial version Invision boards.

E-mail: E-mail address or alias. Something from which to send e-mail notifications to members and things like that.

Nice URL or alias use allowance

No property seizure: no property or exploitation rights claims on whatever I make or my posters make. YOYOW. Linking to my forum as an example of how great the host is is perfectly all right and benefits both parties.

No global things: No global users, admins, posts, announcements, whatever. No restriction on the boards' or site's policy. Just legal limits.

Why for free: Don't want to have to pay for the whole people involved if they don't make it. Have no credit card etc. I'm an old fashioned cash-only guy. Can push a couple bucks (I'm a student) through banks or snail mail, but that's it.

Possibly hosting the rest of the site: The rest of the site is currently 10 MB big. HTML, JavaScript, CSS style, some 60 pics (screenshots) and 60 thumbnails. There's an embedded chatroom (remotely hosted for free), an embedded news service (remotely hosted for free) and an embedded guestbook (remotely hosted for free so soon as I'm decided which one to choose). The number of pictures increases as unfair players use hacks, disconnect (it can be screen-captured) etc, and as good players own bad players in a spectacular fashion

PHP & SQL other than forums: Preferably. I'd like to have an open option to implement PHP thingies if I come across something useful.

No application: I don't want to be referred to a queue or to combat an application system unless it's a simple, quick and automated process. For the purpose of review, the clan's main site is already up. It's in Polish, so you won't understand much unless you know that or a similar language.

FTP Except boards-only service.

No file type or size restrictions: Well, I don't upload exes. But I must have zips. Nothing bigger than 1MB as of now, but who knows what the future will bring. No limit to board posting and keeping posts (no forced deletion/archiving)

No forum posting requirement, no subscriptions, no affiliation: No forced memberships, subscriptions and the like. No "member of X network" stuff. My community isn't a part of some bigger community.

No point buy systems, ever: Having no ads from host but being forced to buy points isn't no ads.

No smallprint: I despise smallprint. I never have anything to do with anyone who puts smallprint in anything. It's dishonourable. I don't deal with dishonourable people.

Quality (on the host's part): Stable servers, stable systems, please. I understand the need to shut down for maintenance, but I don't like four-oh-four making my visitors think my site must have got deleted. I hate SQL error pages, frequent four-oh-fours on PHP pages or board posting problems related to technical PHP issues. The host must be there.

Quality (on my part): I used to be a programmer. I dabbled with webdesign when JavaScript was a hi-tech thingy and CSS was magic. I know how to handle it. I'm not making crap. I know how to handle a board and a community. Board admin, board moderator, chatroom op, newsposter, translator, QA... whatever. Currently I'm the webmaster of two sites (URL, URL) and newsposter & chatroom operator for one portal (URL). What I make may be small, rarely updated, low traffic, exlusive audience... (or exact opposite, depending on how it develops), but it won't be storage and bandwidth eating rubbish.

Please let me know if you're aware of such a host or if you're one. The e-mail is URL, or ICQ 175609628 should you need it.

Please don't reply if you know for sure that any of my needs is not met by the host you offer.

Edit: Not a US resident. Living in Poland, which has been EU for a month.

I have sent you a e-mail