I need a host... ASAP means, now!!!!

I need a host that has these features:

PHP
No ads
FTP Access

And here are some optional features: (not needed, though)

MySQL Databases (at least 1)
CGI-BIN
Free PHP Scripts
Chat Room
Forum (vBulletin, Invision, or phpBB)

Please tell me!!! Thank you!

Oh, and one other thing. I only want subdomains, not:
Domains, or domain.com/users/you, or domain.com/you. Thank you! So I only want subdomains. Thanks again!